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White House Unveils Unemployment Strategy

by Bill Hennessy on January 10, 2010
in Satire

WASHINGTON, DC:  The White House unveiled a new strategy to lower the nation’s unemployment rate, currently standing at 10 percent. 

In his weekly radio address Saturday, the President announced that he will use remaining funds from the failed Stimulus bill to take advantage of little known variable in the unemployment rate factor:  “discouraged workers.”

Pointing out that “discouraged” workers are excluded from the unemployment calculation, the President explained that the government will encourage the unemployed to simply give up hopes for finding work. 

“Discouraged workers are those who’ve essentially given up trying to find a job,” the President explained from the Oval Office.  “These people are able-bodied and working age, but they have lost hope of finding a job.” 

“Discourage workers can do more to help our economic statistics than Green Jobs,” Obama explained.  “For every 100,000 unemployed workers who simply give up,” he said, “the unemployment rate drops about one-tenth of one percent.”

“In December, for example, over six hundred thousands patriotic Americans lost hope of ever finding a job. Without their sacrifice, our unemployment rate would stand at 10.4—the highest rate since the Great Depression.”

In the next two weeks, the Labor Department will send millions of brochures entitled “Yes You Can Give Up” to homeless shelters and those receiving unemployment benefits.

 

[satire]

Popularity: 6% [?]

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Obama Accepts Reid’s Apology

by Bill Hennessy on January 10, 2010
in Satire

WASHINGTON, DC — Saying, “The Senate relies on dingy-skinned white men, especially ones without a cracker dialect,” President Barack Obama accepted Senator Harry Reid’s (D-NV) apology for words Reid used in private in 2008. 

According to the forthcoming book, “Game Changing,” Reid described Obama a “light-skinned” black man “with no Negro dialect . . . unless he wanted to have one” during the 2008 presidential election. 

In his apology, Reid said, “I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words, but it’s mighty white of the President to accept my sincere apology.” 

 

[satire]

Popularity: 5% [?]

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Tea Party Gear Store Open Again

by Bill Hennessy on December 28, 2009
in Latest

TEAcap_tn Sorry for the interruption, but we’ve worked out the kinks.

Do you want to show the world your colors? 

Do you want to say, “I’m a tea partier?”

Do you want your style to shout, “FREEDOM!”

Then get to the official St. Louis Tea Party store and stock up.  We’ve added T.E.A. ball caps to go with the T.E.A Special Forces t-shirts (our best seller). 

You’ll look terrific reading Zen Conservatism in your Tea Party Hoodie!

Popularity: 7% [?]

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Zen Conservative Paperback Available Now

by Bill Hennessy on December 27, 2009
in Latest

frontcover You Can Order My Book Online Today
Zen Conservatism is now available in paperback. 

I began this book in December 2008, just after the election.  My goal was to produce a book that would inspire people to restore our republic.  At the time, conservatives were disheartened, dismayed, and distracted. 

Then the Tea Party movement began, and I had to put my book project on hold.
But thanks to your work, I’ve been able to return to my project.  I’ve updated the original work with things I’ve learned in the Tea Party movement, but the basic idea remains the same:  focus on the most important things and be happy while you do it. 

I hope this book helps you (and all of us) reclaim our freedom without losing our souls
If you would like the book, you can order online here ($1 from each purchase goes to St. Louis Tea Party)  or from Amazon.com.  I’d be more than happy to sign it at the next event.  I hope to have a book signing in January.

The book will be available in bookstores every in January, but why wait?  You can get it now for just $14.95 (plus shipping and handling).  

Fulfillment by Amazon
Are you an Amazon member?  You can order today from Amazon.com.  This option gives you all the advantages of Amazon, including the free shipping program if you qualify. 

Kindle Edition
Have a Kindle?  Get Zen Conservatism for Kindle from Amazon.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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Welcome Back Globe-Democrat

by Bill Hennessy on December 12, 2009
in Latest

imageThe St. Louis Globe-Democrat is back as an online newspaper.  That’s good news for all of us, regardless of their editorial positions.  The other paper in St. Louis has fallen without competition.  People have found alternatives. 

Popularity: 16% [?]

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Does Missouri Need Another State Commission?

Usually, I’m against any government adding anything to its list of functions. But our friend Carl Bearden points out a novel and needed commission proposed by Missouri State Senator Gary Nodler.  If enacted, Senate Bill No. 587 would require Missouri to establish a 10th Amendment Commission.

Here’s language directly from the proposed bill:

The commission shall examine actions of the federal government toward the state, and refer cases to the attorney general when the federal government takes steps that require the state or a state officer to enact or enforce a provision of federal law that lies outside Congress’s enumerated powers and intrudes on the sovereignty reserved to the states by the tenth amendment to the United States Constitution. The attorney general is authorized to seek appropriate relief to preserve the state’s sovereignty.

I say the St. Louis Tea Party should champion this legislation right through to election day on August 10, 2010.

I can’t think of a better use for an Attorney-General than to protect Missouri (or any other state) from the criminally expansive federal government.  For the past century, the people and the states watch Washington bureaucrats and politicians steal power for their own use—power given by God and guaranteed by the Constitution.

This should be just one prong in multi-faceted State Sovereignty campaign.  There’s no shortage of attacks on our freedoms; we might as well throw the kitchen sink at them, too.

I’ll try to contact Tea Party and other conservative groups in KC, Springfield, Cape, and other cities. 

Who’s with me?  Please share your thoughts below.

Popularity: 9% [?]

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Junk Bond

by Bill Hennessy on December 11, 2009
in Latest

John is a Vietnam veteran and retired business executive.  He loves America and hates to see what’s happened in Washington the past few years.  He believes in liberty and Constitutional limitations on government growth. 

He called the Tea Party just to vent and to see if it’s just him.

Recently, John had called Senator Kit Bond’s (R-MO) office in Washington.  He wanted to know whether stories that Bond had signed off a $659 million earmark for soy bean farmers were true. 

According to John, the Bond staffer who answered the phone was terse, rude, and argumentative.  She balked at being called a “lady,” though she couldn’t think of an acceptable alternative. She hung up on the constituent and veteran twice.  She threatened to call the police if he called back.

John’s offense?  He had the audacity to ask about the earmark and state his view that Bond and his staff are our employees. 

I was not able to speak to anyone at Bond’s office to confirm, but John’s story wasn’t the first like it.  Senator Bond, one of the biggest porkers in Congress, has a reputation for being rude to constituents . . . unless, of course, they come bearing campaign contributions.  Now that he’s retiring from the Senate, even donors are in trouble.

Bond’s local office was more polite to John, but they still argued with him, claiming John’s assessment of Bond’s political career was unfair. 

John contrasted for me his treatment with Senator Claire McCaskill’s (D-MO) office staff.  McCaskill’s people were not only polite, they were polite while arguing policy with John.  While John admits he can be short and direct, he felt that never went there with McCaskill’s polite, professional, and enthusiastic staff.

Now, I agree with Sen. Bond on most issues and I disagree with McCaskill on just about everything.  (Same for Tea Partier John.)  Where John and I have more in common with Claire than with Bond is on the point of customer service.  Claire understands how to treat constituents on the phone; Bond simply does not.

Want to know why the Tea Party is viewed more favorably than the Republican Party?  This story tells it all. 

Wake up, GOP.  You’re on the road to losing seats in 2010 rather than gaining them.

And don’t forget to check out my new ebook, Zen Conservatism!  The price goes up $3 on Monday, December 14.

Popularity: 9% [?]

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Junk Bond

by Bill Hennessy on December 11, 2009
in Miscellaneous, News

John is a Vietnam veteran and retired business executive.  He loves America and hates to see what’s happened in Washington the past few years.  He believes in liberty and Constitutional limitations on government growth. 

He called the Tea Party just to vent and to see if it’s just him.

Recently, John had called Senator Kit Bond’s (R-MO) office in Washington.  He wanted to know whether stories that Bond had signed off a $659 million earmark for soy bean farmers were true. 

According to John, the Bond staffer who answered the phone was terse, rude, and argumentative.  She balked at being called a “lady,” though she couldn’t think of an acceptable alternative. She hung up on the constituent and veteran twice.  She threatened to call the police if he called back.

John’s offense?  He had the audacity to ask about the earmark and state his view that Bond and his staff are our employees. 

I was not able to speak to anyone at Bond’s office to confirm, but John’s story wasn’t the first like it.  Senator Bond, one of the biggest porkers in Congress, has a reputation for being rude to constituents . . . unless, of course, they come bearing campaign contributions.  Now that he’s retiring from the Senate, even donors are in trouble.

Bond’s local office was more polite to John, but they still argued with him, claiming John’s assessment of Bond’s political career was unfair. 

John contrasted for me his treatment with Senator Claire McCaskill’s (D-MO) office staff.  McCaskill’s people were not only polite, they were polite while arguing policy with John.  While John admits he can be short and direct, he felt that never went there with McCaskill’s polite, professional, and enthusiastic staff.

Now, I agree with Sen. Bond on most issues and I disagree with McCaskill on just about everything.  (Same for Tea Partier John.)  Where John and I have more in common with Claire than with Bond is on the point of customer service.  Claire understands how to treat constituents on the phone; Bond simply does not.

Want to know why the Tea Party is viewed more favorably than the Republican Party?  This story tells it all. 

Wake up, GOP.  You’re on the road to losing seats in 2010 rather than gaining them.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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Are there any courageous business executives alive today?

by Bill Hennessy on December 9, 2009
in Latest

The most disappointing thing about leaving the military is that it usually means leaving the last bastion of leadership in America.  If you open your own business or freelance, you probably don’t notice the cowardly bastards populating corner offices in most American enterprises.  You’d puke, as Holden Caulfield might say.

John Mackey of Whole Foods had the courage to oppose socialized medicine AND to defend his position and his right to say it. Gina Loudon led a Nationwide Tea Party Coalition BUYcott in support of Mackey.  It was a wild success. How many corporate CEOs, COOs, CMOs, CIOs, or CFOs stood behind Mackey?

None. Because 99 percent of business executives are myopic cowards. They would rather strap on knee pads and crawl to the White House to beg Prince Barack for scraps from Andy Stern’s bounteous plate than to stand on their own two feet and say, “You, Mr. President, are destroying the American job engine.”

Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe all you enterprise executives save puppies from burning buildings in your spare time.  Maybe you jump on private jets to Afghanistan and kill jihadis when you leave the office, sleeping on the flight home. Maybe you’re not self-serving cowards.

Prove it.

Comment on this post.  Tell St. Louis and America who you are, the company you help run, and what you’re doing to stop the socialization of America? 

Please don’t bother if you’re going to tell me you give $2,000 to Republican candidates every year.  The Republicans allowed this disaster to come about.  The GOP made Barack Obama—the Democrats are too screwed up to to that.

Why aren’t you in the streets?  Why aren’t you funding conservative activist groups the way George Soros, Eric Schmidt, and Mark Cuban fund the commies?  Why don’t you take a stand even at the expense of a few customers?  Mackey did it, and we stood behind him.  Where the hell are you?  Why aren’t you belittling and ridiculing the White House’s anti-liberty schemes instead of licking Obama’s boots at a White House photo op?

Tell us here, you brave, tough leaders.  Tell us.  Tell us, because we’re looking for someone to rally behind.  We want another Mackey to buy from.  We are ready to shop YOUR STORES.  We’re just looking for a few good leaders! 

Yes, there are a few brave men and women among you. Damn few, though. Damn few. You want to know why ACORN and SEIU and all the other leftists keep shaking you down?  Because you’re cowards, and you pay. No one in his right mind would buy stock in ANY company in America that’s run by a weasel who praises free markets, then bows to our socialist prince.  Your profits are solely in the short term.  You and your company are doomed to destruction because you are failing in your fiduciary duties.

Prove me wrong.  Show us what you’re made of, if it’s anything but tapioca pudding.  Comment.  Go public.  We don’t shop in shady back rooms.  Man up and act like Americans.

Comments section is open.  Use it, ya weasels.

Popularity: 9% [?]

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