Conspiracy Theory

Posted by Bill Hennessy

January 14, 2006

I drank some really good, inexpensive pinot noir, tonight, which I chased with some Bud Select. Right now my mind is like Alexander Cockburn’s, so I want to explore a conspiracy theory that, no doubt, the left will soon advance.

At some point in the past two years, the CIA figured out that the US cannot pull out of Iraq because Iran will continue to foment pro-Shiite violence throughout the country until Iraq becomes an anti-American radical Muslin theocracy. Therefore, we have to take out Iran’s leadership. Call it the reverse domino theory.

With some lefties already calling for unilateral surrender in Iraq, though, and with troops stretched to the limit, an all-out invasion of Iran is out of the question. So some geniuses in the CIA, along with Palo Alto folks, conspired to provide Iran with the means to create nuclear weapons. Not only that, but the CIA rigged the elections in Iran to ensure the “right” team won–the team that would defy the world by pursuing nukes.

The plan is pretty obvious, if you accept that premise. The UN will limp-wrist some snotty, ineffective resolution that France and China refuse to enforce. With commitments in Iraq and Bosnia, Bush will lack the forces to put boots on the ground in Iran. The only option is tactical nukes–the scenario the CIA has hoped for over these past 50 years of the Cold War and beyond.

Too bad I’m not with the CIA. This would actually be fun game to play.