Satire
Majority Leader Harry Reid: "New Orleans is Lost–Bring the Guardsmen Home"
Technorati Tags: Harry Reid,Hurricane Gustav,Satire
RENO, Nevada–Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) announced today that the battle against Hurricane Gustav “is lost. New Orleans is lost. I demand that President Bush withdraw all National Guardsmen immediately.”
Last year, Reid declared the war in Iraq lost, even as the troop surge began to show impressive signs toward [...]
Unauthorized Video of Obama and Biden Plotting Global Warming Cure
barack and joe
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Record Cold Winter Requires Even Scarier, More Draconian Response
Washinton, DC — The record cold temperatures and heavy snow in Asia and North America have prompted earth scientists to invent a whole new demand: zero carbon emissions.
Citing a new generation of computer models, based on scientific speculation that only a decade ago was considered too outlandish to pull off, scientists now claim that even [...]
Dole: “McCain Can Win Even More States Than I Did”
Former Sentator and Republican nominee for President, Bob Dole, came to John McCain’s defense, today. Taking umbrage at anti-McCain rhetoric from conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, Dole struck back, declaring McCain a superior candidate. Here is the text of Dole’s message:
When Bob Dole ran for president, Bob Dole lost to an unpopular, scandal-ridden Democrat who had [...]
Gore Blames Global Warming
Former Vice President Al Gore, today, blamed global warming for the rapid deformation of his head. U2 lead singer, Bono, demonstrates a normal human head for comparison.
al gore, deformation, former vice president, global warming
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Britney Spears to Appear in New Bin Laden Video
Northern Pakistan–al Qaeda Entertainment, a division of al Qaeda-at-large, announced today that the next Osama bin Laden video will feature American pop star Britney Spears.
al Qaeda hopes that Spears’ presence will help increase viewership in the 15-24 demographic, a prime target for terrorist recruitment. Melinda Roikers, Ms. Spears’ publicist, said the OBL video could mitigate [...]
Ted Kennedy to Patraeus: Fight Like a Man
Washington — Massechusetts Senator Ted Kennedy, today, challenged General David Petraeus, commander of forces in Iraq, to a fist fight in the rotunda of the Capitol over their disagreements on the effectiveness of surge.
“If General ‘Betray Us’ were half the man he acts like in front of the cameras, he’d come out here and fight [...]
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