Ted Kennedy to Patraeus: Fight Like a Man

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Washington — Massechusetts Senator Ted Kennedy, today, challenged General David Petraeus, commander of forces in Iraq, to a fist fight in the rotunda of the Capitol over their disagreements on the effectiveness of surge.

“If General ‘Betray Us’ were half the man he acts like in front of the cameras, he’d come out here and fight like one,” shouted an angry and apparently intoxicated Kennedy during an impromptu press conference near the Declaration of Independence display. 

“My mother , God rest her soul, could have kicked his ass right up to the day she died.  And that goes for the rest of my family, too.”

General Petraeus refused to comment on Kennedy’s challenge, but his office released this statement a short time ago:

General Petraeus has the deepest respect for Senator Kennedy.  The General will directly address the Senator’s military concerns during Tuesday’s Senate hearings.   General Petraeus, however, does not engage in fist fights with Senators or anyone else.

Kennedy also challenged a FoxNews reporter who asked the Senator how much he’d to drink. 



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