Election Year Begins

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The New Year begins with–guess what– Howard Dean saying something stupid. Thankfully, John F**ing Kerry has called him on it.

Dean’s inability to research his statements before making them–like finding out how Kerry voted–makes you wonder what kind of a doctor he was. Did he prescribe medication before checking the patient’s allergies? Did he prescribe procedures without determining if that procedure remained the recommended treatment? In other words, was he as intellectually lazy as a physician as he is as a politician?

Again, his followers don’t care, since they are motivated by anti-intellectual emotionalism and sentimentality, but his potential voters should. Claiming that Missouri is not a farm state when it has 17 farms for each one in Vermont, claiming that Kerry voted Nay when Kerry, in fact, voted Yea, and claiming that all government meetings must be open to the public when Dean, himself, insisted on conducting Vermont’s business in secrecy all point to a man who doesn’t take the office of president of the United States very seriously.

Intelligent people don’t take Dr. Dean very seriously.

Resolutions

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Here are my resolutions (which I don’t make) for 2004:

1. I will leave my caps lock on 24x7x364, using Title Case on the 4th of July only.
2. I will find a way to catch and save the little, black and green detritis unloosed through dental flossing.
3. I will convince one person each week throughout the year that someone is out to get them, and that that someone is getting closer and closer.
4. I will write a book of little value, either as literature or criticism or entertainment.
5. I will send letters to 27 people I don’t know asking them to send me $1,000 in exchange for nothing. If they’d prefer, they can send $500 in exchange for my favorite pieces of dental flossing byproducts.
6. I will part my hair on the right side for 7 minutes a day.
7. I will stare at my reflection in the mirror each morning and pretend to recognize the face.
8. I will one room three different colors.
9. I will organize my luggage by size, shape, and color.

Predictions Part I

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Everyone does it, so I’ll join the fray. If you feel tempted to wager based on these predictions, please just send the money to me: I need, and your chances of getting a return are much better.

Economy
The US economy will continue to expand at the fast pace since the Reagan administration through the second quarter. While new home construction will slow, service and other sectors will more than take its place. Unemployment will improve in fits and starts, but it will be more than half a percentage point lower by the end of the second quarter as the economy creates 100,000 more jobs than existed at the peak in April 2000. The Dow will close above 12,000 and the NASDAQ above 2500 by the end of July. The media will begin concentrating on “underemployment” and working poor, finding no other negative economic news to talk about. The federal budget deficit, according to the CBO, will begin to shrink in 2005. Japan’s economy helps the US and European economies, but other factors keep France and Germany in a Carteresque recession of malaise.

Entertainment
Jacko will be tried and convicted on some minor child abuse or endangerment charge, but he’ll escape the most serious charges. The pack of lies he spewed to Ed Bradley will be his undoing, as his attorneys try desperately and unsuccessfully to quash the video of the 60 Minutes piece. Madonna will do something outrageous. Alec Baldwin will embarrass himself with his mouth.

Iraq
The terrorism in Iraq will subside substantially after a major US military push in the spring. The Army and Marines will round up most of the rebel leaders along with their cash and weapons. By July, Iraq and the war will be non-issues to George Bush’s dismay.
World Politics
The US and UK will continue to marginalize France and Germany, but Putin will get Russia back into our good graces by pumping oil at record levels, lowering the price of gasoline in the US to about $1.00 a gallon my late spring. Saddam’s trial will reveal French violations of UN embargoes against Iraq committed as recently as February 2003 and with the knowledge of Chirac and other senior leaders. Blair’s popularity will swell after a terrorist attack in London is partially thwarted by British commandos. Syria and Iran capitulate to the Coalition of the Willing, turning over terrorists, plots, and weapons. North Korea remains a major problem, and our relations with Beijing deteriorate after we cozy up to Russia. Japan’s economy rebounds.

Election 2004
Howard Dean’s star will begin to fade after Iowa and New Hampshire as Gephardt and Kerry do better than expected. After getting slaughtered in the South, Dean’s will lose financial support from big donors, becoming dependent on college students’ lunch money. The media will turn against Dean after more embarrassing gaffes make him appear frivolous and juvenile. Gephardt will emerge as the only candidate who can beat Bush, but the economy and the success in Iraq will make even a Gephardt run impossible. Late primaries will give the nomination to Dean as the DNC realizes its best bet is to let circumstances undo “McGovern” him. Bush wins with 55% of the popular vote, losing only Vermont, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island in the electoral college. GOP picks up 27 House and 6 Senate seats.

War Dividends

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Back in 1989, the term Peace Dividend was all the rage. Peace Dividend referred to money Democrats could spend on welfare programs and pork as a result of the end of the Cold War. Today, Bush and Blair announced a new, better, and real dividend: the dividends of war.

After seeing the effectiveness of Bush’s policy in overthrowing Saddam, Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi has admitted trying to develop weapons of mass destruction — but now plans to dismantle all such programs. The US and UK made the announcement, today, after months of secret negotiations with The Colonel.

No rational human being can conclude that Qadhafi’s actions are the result of anything but good old fashioned fear of the hell the US military can unleash. Qadhafi instigated the negotiations in April, just after the US, UK, et al, launched the war to liberate Iraq. He knew he was next, and Bush’s comments left no doubt.

“In word and in action, we have clarified the choices left to potential adversaries,” Mr. Bush said.

Three cheers for real men of substance, Bush and Blair, whose steadfastness against evil, the UN, and terrorism has wrought yet another dividend.

Kofi Annan “Frustrated”

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The vassal of vascilationville, Kofi Annan, is frustrated that the US and the Iraqi Governing Council are not giveing him “specific answers” to his questions regarding the UN’s role in post-war Iraq. The ballsy son-of-a-*** is sounding pretty damn uppity about it.

Saving the World from Environmentalism

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With the possible exception of phrenology, nothing has produced more false, even fraudulent science than has environmentalism. Scientists of various sorts with otherwise solid credentials have, for years, allowed their own political biases bastardize results of scientific inquiry in order to “prove” what is not provable or lacks valid scientific evidence.

Moreover, people, particularly procreative baby boomers and the generation that followed, believes such nonsense without critical questioning. Author Michael Crichton, himself an environmentalist and scientist, has had enough. If you tend to believe what you hear on the evening news or even in academic periodicals about the environment, you must read this speech. You don’t have to believe Crichton any more than I believe those he attacks. But anyone who wishes to claim, “I’ve thought about it critically,” must learn some way of measuring the veracity of environmental science’s claims. Read the speech